I knew it would happen. Despite how long it seemed to be taking, how many days stood between me and my eventual home, how many hours that seemed to drag on and on as I packed boxes and cleaned out drawers, it has finally arrived.
It's leaving time.
Excitement, I predicted.
Anxiousness, I've had for months.
But nervousness? A trace of fear? A touch of sadness?
Those are feelings I wasn't expecting.
I'm nervous. I'm nervous that it's going to take me forever to learn the roads, the way from here to there, the path to my dentist, my doctor, my neighborhood park. Just kidding, I already know how to get to the park. Some things take top priority, afterall. Still, jokes aside, it's a little nerve wracking.
What if I want to take Raegan to the beach? I don't know how to get there. What if I want to go to the mall? I'm not accustomed to “inner city” driving…
I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I won't make friends right away. I'm afraid that when Travis reports for duty in December, our lives will change forever. I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a suitable hairdresser to maintain the platinum locks I've come to love and adore! I BETTER FIND A GOOD HAIR STYLIST!!!
I'm sad. I'm sad that we're leaving the only home Raegan has ever known. The house where she took her first steps, said her first word, came home to for the first time. I'm sad that, for the second time in my life, I have to leave people that I care about behind. I've finally made some real, true bonds and just like that, I'm gone. if there's one thing I've learned living down here, so far from hometown family and friends, it's that life often makes it difficult to maintain the relationships you wish you could more consistently keep up with.
As I said goodbye (or, see ya later as she likes to remind me) to my friend after dinner Monday night, it really hit me. This would be the last time I would be seeing her, at least for a long while. ThIS would be the last time I would be standing in a parking lot in North Charleston after a late meal and a couple of martinis. If you think I didn't twirl and wave and shout good-bye and good riddance, then you're wrong. But I did hug my friend, and feel a touch of sadness.
These feelings I'm experiencing though, are minor and insignificant when I compare them to the big picture and all that is waiting for my family and myself. A home. Walls, unshared by neighbors. A yard, fenced in space for my baby to play safely. Rooms, plenty of rooms, to spread out in. A new and exciting way of life. A new house, a new neighborhood, a new city.
New hobbies. New favorite places. New experiences.
A new bed.
A new closet.
A new kitchen with new appliances.
A new chapter.
A new story.
A new me.
A new us.
A new blog.
Fare thee well Charleston, and all that we've come to know.
This is my goodbye to all of you, as well, at least for the time being. I need to focus on this adventure. I need to gather my thoughts and ideas. I need to come back to High Heeled Mama with a new take, because I can't exactly go full throttle into all this newness if I'm dragging the same old style along with me. I'm considering an entire revamp, including changing the name. It's an idea I've been toying with for some time now, and it comes with many pros and cons…but I'm almost sure that if I'm ever going to do it, now is the time!
Although I won't be updating posts here, I will be keeping you in the loop with updates and happenings on facebook…
But I won't leave you empty handed! Monday I'll start a new and final giveaway (at least the final one for a while), so make sure you're stopping back to check it out!!
Hang in there, and don't forget about me! I'm already itching to launch my “new look”, and I haven't even bid fare thee well to this one yet.
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